I am so unhappy today. My 16 year old dog Noah is very ill and weak.
I hate the thought of losing him.
I raised him from a puppy.
I had seen an ad in the local paper for free puppies and went to see what they had. There were 6 puppies all running around in a fenced-in back yard. They were all playing and dashing about.
I thought, The first one that comes to me will be the one I take home. At that moment one of the pups ran straight to me and I picked him up.
So he chose me for a "mom" and I have never been sorry.
He has been a great dog. He is the gentlest dog I have ever seen in my life. There has never been any agressive behavior from Noah. He does not like to hear an angry voice and would quickly walk away from it.
Noah instantly loves everyone he meets and pushes his head under your hand so you will know he wants you to pet his head.
The only strange behavior he ever exhibited is paper-eating. That dog would pull kleenex out of a box, one at a time, until he had eaten as many as he wanted. I sometimes give him a few as a treat. My other dog just gives me an odd look when I offer him a tissue so he will know what Noah is getting.
He has always been the happiest of dogs, easy to please. A quick swim at a local pond or a simple stroll aound our yard always brightened his eyes.
Now he is just laying there on the floor, waking occasionally, lifting his head and looking around until he spots me. Then he puts his head back down. "I'm right here, puppy," I say to him.
My heart is breaking...
Look, it's not what you think...
12 years ago
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Post Script:
Noah was put to sleep. It was so hard to say goodbye to him. He was a very good friend for almost 16 years. I know now that I should have gone to the vet sooner, should not have allowed him to suffer for so many days.
But I didn't want to let him go... didn't want to give him up... didn't want to feel the pain... I made it about me when it should have been about Noah. It would have been much kinder to release him and end his suffering. I was holding on to the hope that he might recover... Love can make people very irrational...
If you are in the position of having to make the decision to have a pet put to sleep, maybe you can learn from my experience and do the kind thing. Let go.
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